yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
