wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
