it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
