I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
