I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
