dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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