i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I still have a little drunk in my system
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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