Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
