I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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