let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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