even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
