Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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