very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
