My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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