he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
