Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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