I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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