There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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