just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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