things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize