She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
