Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
