So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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