goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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