Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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