It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
