just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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