I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
