nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
