it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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