I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
