i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
