I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
