I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize