no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
