you turned your livingroom into a bong?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
