I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize