fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
