You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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