Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
