is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize