If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
