Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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