Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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