I just saw a hot homeless man
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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