Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
