Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am mentally ready for anal.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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