Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize