Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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