I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
