he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize