my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
