bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
tonight lets celebrate not being married
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
