maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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