I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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