you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You made out with two different species that night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
